Why We’re Attracted To People Who Are Wrong For Us
Mind Body Green writes:
I’m asked this question all the time: "Why am I attracted to people who are wrong for me?" And the answer is quite simple, actually:
Because your wounded self is doing the attracting.
Now, I know the term “wounded self” can sound a little intense, so let me explain. We all have two selves: the “little self” (or the wounded self, the ego) and the “Spiritual Self” (the higher self, adult self, or soul).
The wounded self is the part of you that feels incomplete. It questions your worth and value; it doesn’t feel whole, or it feels flawed in some way. My wounded self is the “little me” who wonders if I’m truly lovable.
On the other hand, we also have a Spiritual Self. This is your higher self, your soul. It’s the part of you that’s connected to love, truth, wisdom and peace within. Your Spiritual Self knows, without a doubt, how lovable and valuable you are. In many ways, it’s the opposite of the ego.
At any given time, we are operating from one of these two selves. Many of us, unfortunately, operate from the viewpoint of the ego most of the time. That is, we believe we’re insignificant and powerless in some way, and we’re trying to make up for this lack.
The ego looks for things on the outside to find validation and completion. It believes once it gets more (money, a better partner, a better job, a better house, more vacations, etc…) it will finally be happy.
But … it’s never happy. Not for long, anyway. Because the ego’s very nature is to feel incomplete. Therefore when you live through the perspective of your ego, you’re destined to feel like something’s missing. Life through this lens is not very fun.
The ego gets highly activated when it comes to romantic relationships, because relationships are where we hold the most wounding.
Read the rest here.